Quote

"The things that will destroy America are property-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." Theodore Roosevelt

City on Fire?

The Tigers have managed to jump out to a 4-0 start, and apparently things are looking up in Detroilet. There must be something in the water out in the AL Central. First it was the Twinkies making the playoffs 2 years ago, despite claims by the Brewers' owner that they would be contracted along with the Expos. Last year it was the Royals outperforming expectations far and wide, led mostly by Tony Pena and a give 'em hell attitude. Has the fever spread to Detroit? Anything is possible, but get a thermometer just in case, it's still only the first week of play.

Quote du Jour

"Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." Dave Barry

Quote...

"Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid." John Wayne

Games to play at work when you feel like doing nothing

Ever want to shoot a rubber band at a co-worker but were worried about taking out an eye? Well here's your chance:

http://www.maximonline.com/stupid_fun/games/rubber/index.aspx

Those guys at Maxim sure know how to make it easier to get fired...

Stupid Advertising

I'd like to know who the jerk in charge of advertising for Blogger is. Why? Well every time I look at that stupid banner, it's an ad for Red Sox tickets. If I wanted to buy baseball tickets, it sure as hell wouldn't be Red Sox tickets.

My Mind is playing tricks on me

My brain is having trouble understanding what my eyes are seeing:

The Brewers and the Tigers are now 2-0. When was the last time either of those teams were 2 games over .500? Of course Dmitri Young broke his leg, so it can't last too long for the Tigers. Even more unbelievable is that Mike Mussina is 0-2, against the Devil Rays. In the immortal words of Walter Sobchek "Has the whole world gone crazy?"

Quote...

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965)

The Revenge of Holy Macaroni

More interesting stats from some of yesterday's small market games (courtesy Lee Sinins):

The Royals set a team record for attendance at a home opener--41,575. (it's amazing that they didn't get that when they had George Brett)

The Royals became the 1st team since the 1901 Tigers to come back from at least a 4 run deficit in the 9th inning to win on Opening Day.

Jason Johnson, AL Levine, Jamie Walker and Esteban Yan combined to give the Tigers their first Opening Day shutout since Mickey Lolich shut out the Senators in 1970. For once the Tigers are on the right end of a shutout.

Yesterday was the first time in modern history that 2 walkoff HRs were hit on Opening Day. Carlos Beltran and Shannon Stewart did it.

The Prince

My father made a fantastic point last night about Fallujah and Mogtada al-Sadr, and an article in this morning's NY Post only reinforced his point (maybe my Dad should be a columnist?). His point was that the people who are following this bonehead clearly haven't read much Machiavelli. Here's the excerpt that I think reinforces his point:

"...Muqtada is too young to claim the coveted theological title of "Marjaa al-Taqlid" (Source of Emulation) for himself. Nor can he circumvent the two dozen or so senior ayatollahs who dominate the Shiite seminaries throughout Iraq. He is, therefore, trying to make up for his lack of theological gravitas by flexing his political muscles.

To play a political role, Sadr needs a role in the script written by the Coalition Provisional Authority. But Sadr has been excluded from that script and almost forced to act as a loose cannon. Last year, when the Iraqi Governing Council was being set up, Sadr at first excluded himself because he believed he could seize control of the Shiite heartland and present the Coalition with a fait accompli. When he realized that this wouldn't happen, he sought a place in the council. But those who had already joined refused to have him, and the Coalition sided with them."

So basically this dope thought he deserved a spot in the CPA, but didn't step forward. Then when he realized the folly of his plan, he tried to get in and was refused. It's reminiscent of the late 1920s-early 1930s when the Nazis repeatedly attempted to get a representative elected to the Bundestag, but after repeated losses decided to build a following and storm the Bundestag building instead.

Quote of the Day

"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker." -Ogden Nash

Holy Macaroni!

Detroit, Pittsburgh and Milwaukee defied logic and pulled off victories in this afternoon's games. Pudge is already paying dividends with a HomeRun today, Kip Wells slowed Philadelphia's offense, and Scott Podsednik and Ben Grieve combined for 7 RBIs. It probably won't last long, but good for them, showing signs of life early in the season.

Kerry eats Dinner, ignores Filipinos

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/003/947nzczv.asp

I think it's safe to say P.J. O'Rourke isn't voting for Kerry this November.

Holy Weight Loss!

I just read this article: http://www.local6.com/news/2974737/detail.html

This woman weighed 264 pounds with a gigantic tumor growing on her back. She literally had 66% of her body weight removed, luckily for her it was benign.

Opening Day Part 3: The Return of the Revenge of Opening Day

Finally, "opening day" is here, at least if you wanted more than one game on your opening day schedule.
There are 9 games on tap, with really only 2 games of note: KC against the White Sox, and Cleveland squaring off against Minnesota, although the San Diego-LA matchup could turn out to be a decent game. Of course as Yogi Berra once said, "What difference does the uniform make? You don’t hit with it."

Quote of the Day

"Without TV it's hard to tell when one day ends and another begins" - Homer Jay Simpson

I could be wrong, but...

if TNT wants to make a fictitious movie about a love story, it should be about a boy and his dog, not Private Joker and Charlotte York. A word to the wise: If you run a TV network, don't hire Mr. Magoo as your programming director. Although I guess they could just sell it to Lifetime- TV for sensitive men and lesbians.

Opening Day Part Deux: The Revenge of Opening Day

After all the pre-season poopla about the Red Sox push to top the "Evil Empire," it must be tough to watch Pedro get outpitched by Sidney Ponson. That's pushing it a bit, but with all of the off season posturing from every Boston angle, you'd expect something more. Javy Lopez, Miguel Tejada and Viagra's favorite MLB spokesman all fared pretty well. Of course it is only one game, but the recent reports of Pedro's stuff looking like mush certainly can't be encouraging for Boston fans. Maybe they won't have to put ritual suicide off until October. Everybody's got to have dreams...